THE DAILY GROANER – Wednesday, March 17th 2010

Top O’ The Morning Groanies,

I’m sure you’ve heard about the end of Chicago’s South
Side Irish Parade. I’ve been bummed about it for some
time now, but over the weekend I raised my spirits and
had my very own Green Groaner Boozer Bonanza. That’s
right.

I had my yard full of drunken party-goers that were
celebrating their Irish heritage… and drinking free
domestic beer until projectile vomiting on my neighbors
bushes that feature their prize-winning roses and then
using my tool shed as a toilet and then getting crazy
naked with little people dressed up as leprechauns with
then led to the police being called and then tazing naked
puking leprechauns at their leisure.

Good times! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com

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Newly arrived in Boston from the old country, Paddy O’Shea
called his brother back home. “Sean, it’s amazin, these
American cities. On most every street, they got glass out-
houses, and it’s TELEPHONES they put in ‘em!”

—————

Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just
before morning tea Pat yelled: “Mick! I lost me finger!”
”
Have you now?” says Mick.

“And how did you do it?”

“I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi…
Damn! There goes another one!”

—————

Three Irishmen, drunk as can be, come staggering down the
street singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs. They
stop in front of Flaherty’s house still singing.

After a few minutes the window flies open and Mrs. Flaherty
yells out, “Why don’t you drunken sots go somewhere else!”

“Are you Mrs. Flaherty?” asks one of the drunks.

“You know dam well I am,” she says.

“Well, can you tell us which one of us is your husband so
the other two of us can go home?”

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Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?

A: Because they’re always a little short.

Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?

A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!!

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End of THE DAILY GROANER
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